Friday, April 2, 2010

Book Quotes: Getting Men to Listen

From The Male Factor by Shaunti Feldhahn (p. 259-260):

Take a look at the survey results to the scenario I created:

Imagine you are in a business meeting, and a woman with a great body stands up to give a presentation. She is all business, but she is wearing a suit and blouse that show off her figure in some way (for example, a low-cut blouse or tight skirt). Which answer below most closely describes the likely impact of that on your ability to concentrate on her presentation? (Choose one answer.)

14% - I'm instinctively drawn to look at her body, and sneak in peeks when she won't notice--so I'm missing quite a bit of what she says.

50% I try to concentrate, but I'm distracted from trying to look at her face and not her body--so I miss some of what she says.

36% I'm not affected; I can concentrate fully on her presentation.

Two out of three men said that they would be missing either "quite a bit" or "some" of what the woman was saying. Only one third said they would be able to concentrate fully on her presentation. And nearly every man to whom I have shown this has expressed amused skepticism about the latter number.

....the men I interviewed universally agreed that there were different degrees of distraction depending on what the woman wore and how she wore it.

and from page 265:

Douglass, the corporate sponsorship executive I introduced previously, says:

Realize that breasts can be distracting before they are sexual, and seeing part of a woman's breast is distracting. Conversely, a woman can be extremely attractive, but if she's not showing skin or wearing really form-fitting clothes, the issue doesn't come up. She's just...attractive. Women have the ability to be completely beautiful and completely appropriate...But there is a line a some point that you cross where it becomes distracting, and another line where it could become sexual. At least that is how it comes across, to me.

and from page 269:

[From Mark]: "It's sort of like what I tell my daughters: You don't have to show your figure for guys to know you've got a good figure. They get it! It's their job to always be aware of that!! You don't have to wear that outfit for guys to notice."

and from page 274:

Here is what one businessman told me with regard to outfits that tend to trigger a response in men:

It's all about curves, bare skin, and, frankly, the sight of whatever is supposed to be covered. That is what a man's eyes will be drawn to. A tight outfit, a short skirt, a bra strap showing, low-cut pants in the back where you can see the top of whatever she is wearing underneath if she leans over a bit...any one of those things. And cleavage. Breasts are always distracting.

It is so frustrating when I see in the morning that my one female colleague is wearing a button-down shirt, because she regularly has those types of shirts unbuttoned one button too low, and where it gapes or she turns sideways you can see everything. And I try to avoid looking, but I cannot put my hand up and go like this [he put his hand up as if to block his view of her chest] when I am talking to her, so that is a really difficult thing.

[I've also heard mentioned as distracting: very-short shorts that show butt-curve when the gal leans over.]

and from page 275:

"Tell the women to remember that men are taller than they are. The blouse may look fine straight in the mirror, but think about what it will look like if someone is six inches taller and looking down."

There's even more useful information on this topic in the book.

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